Malena's Weather Report
First of all, let me say 2 days of RAIN is not severe weather conditions! People here in La La land are such P*ssies. We get 2 days of rain and everyone goes nuts. "Ohhh the rain! We can't go anywhere" The freeways are jammed and there are accidents everywhere. Mind you, everyone still goes 75 oon the freeway. Hmmm. Wonder if there is a connection there? Buck up little shoppers! (I'd say campers, but WHO camps in LA? Not ONE Hummer in my neighborhood has ever been off road. Let's be serious) It's very simple...when it rains you drive slower! What a concept. I should copyright that...."Like It's like raaaaining, should we go like, ah! sloooower!" (LA accent insert here)
Meanwhile in the midwest there are REAL severe weather conditions. Enough snow to hold you hostage in your house! Miss Fabulous had to cancel her gig due to the weather. I do love to go see Fablo in the winter. Well, ok, in March. That way I can still wear my vintage dead fluffies and feel like I am roughing it in the "cold". When I was a wee lass I grew up in Idaho where it got to be 40 BELOW 0 at times, so I'm no wuss, I'm just an ectomorph.
A happy medium between LA fires big enough to summon up the powers of hell and a blizzard that grounds Santa would be PERFECT. Where would that BE I wonder?
I don't mind the rain. It gives all the flowers, brought in from everywhere else BUT here, (LA is really a desert) a drink and it clears away the smog in the air. NICE! And it gives me a reason to wear patent leather. Like I need a reason! But I can call my outfit, "rain attire" you see. That way all the old bitties don't think I'm into S&M for ONE day.
No one ever believes me when I tell them I'm really a housewife who makes brownies for the kids and lives in a house with a white picket fence around it. (makes for a great disguise for what's inside you see)
Rumor has it that I have a part in a movie playing a leather clad Harley Davidson ridin, gun slingin criminal...who happens to be a lesbian! Sign me up!!! Getting to shoot big guns and beat up boys? What could be better? It's such a change from my last film. Ha ha. I wonder if I'll ever be chosen to play a midwestern nerd who moved to LA to become a moviestar? Hm, might be out of my range. Miles always roles his eyes when I do all my character voices. The old texas cowgirl erks him the most I think. (It's so fun) My favorite is...
"Geter dun fer God!" Which btw, was a real saying on a christian church in the south. Yes, someone send me the photo!
When I tried to link the photo, this peaceful, loving message appeared on the blog. It just doesn't get any better than this does it? Can I get an Amen? Hallelujah!
I wonder if Jesus cried during the Christian Crusades?